Tags

,

Lady: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Lady: How many beers do you drink in an average day?
Man: I dunno. Usually about 3.
Lady: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: About $5 with a tip
Lady: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: At least 20 years, I suppose
Lady: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be $5400 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Hmmm. Well, do you drink beer?
Lady: No
Man: Where’s your f***ing Ferrari then?

***

“Winston, you’re drunk!”
“And you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober.”
– allegedly Winston Churchill to MP Bessie Braddock.

***

The past, the present and the future all walk into a bar. It was tense.

***

I thought I would pass on some investing advice in these tough times.

If you had purchased $1000 in AIG stock a year ago, you’d have $42 left today. With Lehman, you’d have $6.60 left. With Fannie or Freddie, you’d have less that $5 remaining.

But if you purchased $1000 worth of beer a year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in all the aluminum cans for recycling value, you’d have $214.

Based on the above, your best strategy is to drink heavily and recycle.

(Of course, Snopes takes all the fun out of that last one!)

Advertisements